Funny Facts

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The Lone Asteroid

By:
McKye S. Carter
THIS IS FICTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Once upon a time in the year 1,000,000,000 B.C. or so. There was an asteroid that was floating in space all alone. He was searching for fellow asteroids to create a planet that could sustain life on it. As he floated through the deep cosmos he pondered the mysteries of the universe.

He thought, "Who am I? Where am I ? Where am I going? Did the chicken come first or the egg?How much IQ do I have?" And so on. But his most important question was, "What will I call my planet?"

As he was drifting through the cosmos he noticed that there was a force yanking at him. When he surveyed the many stars he noticed in some clusters there was a black circle in them blocking out everything else. Then our hero realized the awful, horrible truth! He was speeding straight into a field of abnormally close black holes! The measly asteroid was doomed!!!!



Suddenly, a cosmic idea struck his stony brain. If he took advantage of the gravitational field of the black holes, he could wind his way outta there! So he twisted, turned, flipped and spun! Eventually he was drifting away from the field and thus, away from danger. But he was very exhausted.



Eventually, when he spent enough time resting, he continued on into the galaxy. He saw many planets that were already made. Then he saw it. It was his dream. It was his desire. It was want he was made for. It was ... Asteroids creating a planet!!!

The molten misshapen ball of rock was very big. But not as big as a mammoth gas planet he saw a few days ago! According to the unwritten rules of asteroids (They were unwritten because writing wasn't invented yet.), any asteroid could join in with planet making.

The planet just needed a spherical shape and a core. It just so happened that our hero was the right size and shape for both jobs! So he mustered all his strength and speeded toward the planet at mach 100 at a temperature of 10,000 degreases Celsius!



Then, in just two minutes, he SMASHED into the planet and sank into the center were he became the core. Meanwhile, on the surface, he caused a massive tsunami of magma that went around the planet thrice and gave it a spherical shape.



Now, as our hero was the core, he had to name the planet. He called it ...

EARTH.

THE END!

Retro Comics

The last level of McKye's home of the future. Click to supersize.



I guess we have Homestar Runner to thank for McKye's knowledge of 80's text-based games. I don't know how else he would have found out about them. In the last panel, the computer is saying, "That's gonna leave a mark." Click to supersize.


In the second to last panel, I believe the computer says, "Forsooth."


By the way, McKye has really enjoyed reading the comments. Thanks for sending them in.

McKye's Dream House

As always, click to supersize these blueprints of McKye's HOME OF THE FUTURE -TURE -ture - ture.

Don't Look, Ethel!

I guess all we can do is hope that censored bar is on the other side of the streaker as well. Though, skinny as he is, I don't know how much there would be to photograph. Click to supersize.


If McKye keeps making stuff like the following at church, I'll let him keep going. Click to supersize.

Deadly cow chip!

First, we have McKye's rendition of Wall-E. No, that is not a bone sticking out of the shoe Wall-E is carrying. It's a plant. Click to supersize.

Don't know who these masked avengers are yet. I'll update when I find out. Click to supersize.

I don't know, IS he flipping the driver off? Make up your own story to go along with this series. It's more fun that way. Click to supersize.


McKye and Mason are big Fox Trot fans. Here are sketches of Quincy and Jason. Click to supersize.
I have just found my new life motto. Click to supersize.

Bionic variations

We recently excavated McKye's school binder and found some schema for the robots that will one day take over the world. Unless, of course, they fall in love first. Click to supersize.

Jesus Waves

Click these to supersize. The second one especially rewards a closer look.

How To Rob a Bank

By McKye Carter

Kaboom! Breee! This guide shall inform you on how to steal money from the bank, blow up the bank, then get out of the country. Just follow the steps right and you will be fine.

So, without further ado, here is the steps:

1. Buy explosives. This is expensive, though.

2. Learn how to use them. This is useful.

3. When it's night, sneak over to the bank as quiet as a mouse camouflaged in all black.

4. Use a grenade to blow up the door.

5. Disable all alarms as you go in.

6. Use a bomb or a stick of TNT to blow open the vault door.

7. Steal as much money as you can, starting with the highest value dollar.

8. Get outta there! You don't want the cops to catch you like a rat in a trap!!!

9. Repeat steps 3-8 (step 1 if necessary).

10. When all the money is gone, place all the explosives in the very center of the bank. Then place a remote igniter.

11. Go outside and activate the igniter.

12. Get plastic surgery on your face.

13. Buy a one-way plane ticket to Tokyo. Stay there.

This guide is all elementary, my dear Watson.*

The End

*Don't you just love references? I do.

A bit of everything

Self-portrait, or concept art for the next Exorcist movie? Click to supersize.


A little bit of high-brow humor. Note the sign. Click to supersize.
From one of McKye's school folders. A meteorite heading for a government building.

Spanish homework.

I'm not really sure what this one means. But the guy seems to be suffering from multiple right arms.

Stuff made in Spanish class.

Here we have a diagram showing how to perform an optical illusion. Click to supersize.

Spanish fun with numbers. Click to supersize.


This is what happens when McKye's name has one too many tequilas. Click to supersize.

Drawn in fourth grade. One of his most arresting, in my opinion. Click to supersize.

Someday this machine will change your life. Click to supersize.

McKye draws on retro gaming and classic horror cinema for his inspiration. Click to supersize.


We're not sure who's being lampooned here, but this person seems to have a peanut for a brain and his pants on backward. Possibly even his shoes. Click to supersize.


Water skiing, I think. Observed by small robots? Click to supersize.


As you can see, unit title pages are frequently the playground of McKye's pencil. Click to supersize.


An implement. Click to supersize.

Mason's work

Yes, every once in a while, Mason draws something. So we snap up every chance to display his work. Following is the card Mason produced for Mother's Day. Click to supersize.



And here is a family portrait. Note the difference in size between the two beakers - er, cats. They're pretty proportionate representations, actually. Click to supersize.

Robots, ghosts and Earl

McKye was in Noelle's 4th grade class. Every once in a while, she'd stumble across something like this while grading. Click to supersize.


A provocative page from an unfinished project. Click to supersize.


The dangers of wearing dentures and glass eyeballs in a haunted house. Click to supersize.


Earl, from Mutts. Click to supersize.


The robot we wish lived in McKye and Mason's room. Click to supersize.